How should I handle the situation when my colleagues do not cooperate and push their work onto me? - I feel lost and disappointed.

Most of us have been here. Sadly.

This was the question from my recent client:

I don't want to go back to work. I dislike the job content and my colleagues. As a person responsible for office admin work, my colleagues always push all the work to me. This situation has a great impact on my work and emotions. I feel very low every day and have been unable to find a second job for a long time. I feel lost and disappointed. Successfully changing jobs is my goal, but I'm not excited because I haven't heard back from many job applications. I feel desperate, don't know what to do to help myself, and also worry about not having a job.

It's always very sad for me to read such questions, as I can literally feel the pain of the person myself. Moreover, I know firsthand how it feels, as I - like many of us - have had such job experiences as well.

Without further ado let me present you with my answer to this client:

I appreciate your honesty and openness in admitting your current unhappiness. Many people don't even want to acknowledge that they're not happy and keep lying to themselves and others. So, this is a great first step toward change and a better life!

Now, how do we actually start solving this and changing your situation? Firstly, please allow yourself some time to make such dramatic changes in your life. It sounds like you’re really sad, so maybe you could start by visiting a doctor or a professional for some tips on addressing these states from a physical perspective. Usually, when we experience prolonged stress, our bodies produce hormones that keep us sad, like cortisol and adrenaline. Checking your hormonal levels, and the amount of vitamins and minerals in your body would be advised. You also need to sleep enough (at least 8 hours), eat fresh fruits and vegetables, and drink at least 2 litres of clean water every day. Please take this advice seriously from someone who had a serious burnout condition for over 2 years. Working on our psychological state cannot go without addressing our physical state. That said, please include light body stretches and yin yoga—it's very important to regulate the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems.

Next, let’s move to the career-related questions. I totally understand that finding a new job is very stressful, especially nowadays when the competition seems stronger than ever. But you can always improve your situation by taking the correct steps over time.

1) If you already hate your job, it’s probably best to accept that you will be much happier if you change it. If your colleagues are already trying to give you extra work, it could be very hard to change their minds. But still, I advise you to research what your responsibilities are precisely, and if someone tries to give you work outside of your scope, let them know that you can only take extra tasks after you’ve finished all your main duties. And, of course, since you don’t have any extra time, you can ask your direct manager to help you prioritize the tasks: if something is added, something else must be removed. Please don’t be afraid to speak up and politely yet firmly start setting your boundaries. People will only respect you when you prioritize yourself and show respect for yourself. You are totally worth it! :)

2) If you are dealing with senior colleagues who are not treating you properly, again, you probably cannot change them (as people in power have privileges we cannot affect). So, be encouraged to start looking for a new job. I know it might sound scary and daunting, but you absolutely can succeed! You just need to build up your own image and idea of what you want and make this your solid and firm goal.

3) When you start looking for new jobs, be realistic: what are you good at? (Some specific tasks? Maybe you have a great memory? Or you can talk to anyone and deeply understand them?) Everyone has some great skills, and you need to identify yours. Ask your friends and family to help you. Next, make a list of skills that are not strong in you because you need to avoid jobs that require those skills. Please, never waste time developing something you are not good at. Only work on what comes naturally to you, your gifts and abilities. This will make you successful in the long term!

4) Make a career vision or dream. What kind of job would you ideally like to have? What kind of colleagues? What would you do every day in that job? How would you contribute to the world? How would you grow personally, and what would make you happy? All these questions help you understand what your next job should be.

5) Once you know yourself and have an idea of your dream job, start looking for it on websites and other resources. Read what skills they require. Maybe you can talk to someone already in that job to give you some advice on how to get it?

And please remember — you are as valuable and important as any other human on the planet. You deserve a happy and healthy job, a joyful life, and you can have it if you are really determined. Work on your self-esteem, develop healthy boundaries, be grateful for what you have, and never stop believing in the best! Lastly, when you apply for jobs, show them how special you are, what's great about you specifically, and what you can bring to them. Learn to be yourself and love yourself, and the world will always love you back, even if it takes a bit of time. You can do it, and I am sure you will get a great new job sooner than you think. Good luck!

Sometimes our dreams are just one conversation away!

And here are some practical tips to summarize my response:

1) Heal your body first: eat healthy food, drink clean water, breathe fresh air, get quality sleep, do light exercise, and take vitamins. Prioritize your health above all else—it's the most precious thing you have. Learn to meditate and stretch, or go to the gym to boost your energy levels and self-confidence. Please cut out fast food, coffee, snacks, and sugar. Studies suggest that poor gut health can lead to depression and anxiety.

2) Start building your self-esteem and setting boundaries. No one is allowed to disrespect you, as we are all equal on this planet; no one is above or below others.

3) List your strongest and weakest skills. Focus on developing your strongest ones, and completely ignore the weakest ones.

4) Define your dream job precisely.

5) Research your dream job and find real people who can serve as examples. Ask them about the job, and start applying. You can get it!

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What do you think about this answer? Does it fully address the question, of would you add anything? Share in the comments below, it might help someone today! ;)